How Real Do You Want Me To Be?

OK, so I am back from vacation which was great went to Florida, Spent some time with my parents and son doing some fishing.  Then my wonderful wife surprised me with a 3 day trip just her and I to Beaver's Bend Oklahoma!  Again I had a great time re-connecting with my wife outside our busyness at home.  As I was uploading the pictures I took in both places I was amazed at the beauty of God's creation.  Not that it is new but he allowed me to get some great pictures of landscape and animals which a couple people sometimes never get to see in real life.  I was sitting there pausing and thanking Him for the opportunity to get these images and he brought to my mind a time when I was living in California and during a preparation time for teaching youth He asked me a question.  Not that I heard his audible voice, but I knew this was from Him.  Are you ready? The question was " You keep praying that I will be real to you and these kids, welhow real do you want me to be?"  He brings this back to me periodically when I am struggling with something or just am discourage with where I am in my life.  So I have been meditating on this question for the past several days.  How real do I want God to be in my life?   That sounds like a stupid qustion for a Christian because we all should want God to be totally real in our lives right?  I do want that butwhat I find is I let  others things creep in and all of the sudden I feel far away from God and lost in what I am doing.  As I look at my life God has shown His provision for me both before my marriage and all through my marriage.  The times I seem far away from God when I look I realize He has not gone anywhere it is I that have walked away.  I don't mean walked awayfrom Christianity, let me draw you a mental picture see God is a perfect gentleman and He allows us to choose remember that as I go on painting here.  So He holds us in His hand to protect us from evil nothing can take us out of His hand or separate us from Him right.  I however can choose to walk out of His hand.  He does discipline those He loves and I have found He prods me to get me back around.  So back to the answer to the question.  I want Him to be very real in my life both to and through me!!  Once again we go back to being intentional.  I would not expect t have a close personal relationship with someone I never spend time with or hang out with.  Same goes for God if I want to be close to Him and allow Him to be real, I mean really real to and through me I have to spend time getting to know Him and learning from Him through the Bible (His word) and others He brings into my life.  He knows allabout me there is nothing I can hide from Him!  He also loves me so much He waits for me longing to be totally real to me and it is I that hinder that!  Lord please help me get out of the way!!  So those of you that are journeying with me God has asked me to pose the same question to you " How Real Do You Want God to Be?"  both in your life and through your life.  I love you guys and thanks for listening and walking with me.  Feel free to email or make comments on this and let's grow together.  God is begining something le's watch together and get involved in His work around us as He orchestrates His plan.  Thanks again for reading